hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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