At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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