you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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