MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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