I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
