In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize