so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
