OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
