return my video game
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they're like a gay fantastic four
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
