the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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