moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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