I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You are the jesus of drinking
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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