i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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