Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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