When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize