He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Say something about gay babies.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
