my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize