please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.