I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?