oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap