she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue