my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now