don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
