hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
