she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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