I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she looked like the before picture.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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