I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
COCAINE IS GR8
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize