"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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