Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
