Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
