We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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