i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
