Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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