He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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