Please, let me fuck your mom
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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