you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
