you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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