I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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