yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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