Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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