Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
