i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How naked do you want me to be?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
