Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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