Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
