Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
