well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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