Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize