considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
