did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
