Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize