so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
