You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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