No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
