He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
