wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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