So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
