why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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