Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
