I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
